I wrote this two years ago, but man does it ring true right now. When life is at its craziest is when I need to run most. *

The case was empty. Blindly I searched around. Where were my contacts?!

I know I put them in here last night. Did I put both in the left side? I check again, bringing the case inches from my face to make sure I see every detail.

They are gone.

Then I see something, just past the flesh-colored blurry blobs that are my feet. It's my contact. On the floor. Dried up. Crispy as a chip.

"I wanted to pretend..." My daughter thought they would make a great toy... And that was the last straw.

We weren't at home. I couldn't just pull a spare pair out of the box.

"I can't take the kids," I said.

My plan had been to pack up both of them to join me on a quick run, giving my sick husband a break and some time to rest (his man cold is really keeping him down).

But suddenly the thought of unpacking the stroller from the car, wrangling two kids into the straps and going for a run felt impossible.

"I just need twenty minutes alone." And I left.

I closed the door on the "But I thought we could come with you!?" ran down the steps and ticked of a pretty fast half mile. Last week drained me. Physically, emotionally, mentally. By the time I discovered my crunchy contacts on the bathroom floor I just didn't have anything left.

Sometimes I run for fun, sometimes I push my kids, sometimes I run for others, sometimes I run for PRs, sometimes I run to be outside and sometimes I run because I just need 20 minutes...alone.

By my turn around point at ten minutes, my mind had cleared: perspective gained. My paced slowed and I headed home, looking forward to going back out to run, as I had promised, side by side with my five year old. And then walk my two year old over to the "big trucks" he saw just up the road and just be 'available' the rest of the day.

Sometimes running is about self preservation.

It's about leaving it behind so I can come back with a clear mind, with more patience, with perspective, with energy to be who the important people in my life need me to be: mom and wife.