Look Up: a lesson for when things get hard

This summer, my husband and I took the paddleboards out for what might be the last time. We were both feeling stressed for many reasons. And stress was translating into negative attitudes and discouragement. We thought getting out on the lake one last time would help.

For the first half of the paddle, we skirted the shore ducking in and out of islands, the wind at our back. After paddling for an hour, we decided to turn around and head back along the opposite shore. We turned across the wind and pointed our boards towards a few islands halfway to the other side of the lake.

As we left the sheltered shoreline, the wind picked up almost taking my hat with it. The nose of the paddleboard was nearly swamped, the pack I tucked into the webbing soaked through. With every wave I rolled and rocked, working hard to keep my balance.

And then I noticed something: when I glanced down at the choppy waves and the water lapping up over the board my balance waivered, and everything felt helplessly unstable. But when I looked up at the island my board became steady, my stance stronger and I could paddle forward.

At one point I got down on my knees, my legs were fatigued and it wasn't helping my balance, especially in the wind and choppy water. I felt silly being on my knees as if it was a sign I wasn’t strong enough to stand. But I noticed that from my knees I could generate more power with each paddle stroke. So I stayed on my knees, doing the best with what I had. I moved forward finally reaching the leeward side of the island and calm water.

A Hard Year

Everything is hard right now. It's hard if you're single, it's hard if you're in a relationship, it's hard if you're solo-parenting, it's hard if you're co-parenting. It's hard if you're unemployed and it's hard if you're employed. It's just plain hard.

This year has been nothing but choppy water and rough waves and high winds all trying to knock us off our boards.

But I want you to know:

It's OK to kneel. It's OK to rest your body and your mind and your soul. You don't have to stand up there looking like a "real paddleboarder" for anyone. You can kneel if it makes you feel better, more stable, more powerful.

Keep your gaze up. Don't look down. Don't focus on the choppy water and the rough waves and the wind. Don't focus on the "what ifs." I know it's hard, but look up. Fix your eyes on where you're going.

This advice didn’t fix everything, but it helped me get through a hard moment. Once we loaded up the paddleboards and drove away I remembered all the things I was feeling stressed about.

But then I remembered to look up.

Keep looking up, friends.

—Sarah