Letting Go of Boston

On May 18th, 2014, after 11 years and seven attempts, I finally qualified for the Boston Marathon by over ten minutes. Despite all this I will not be running the 119th Boston Marathon this April.

I knew when I toed the line at the Sugarloaf Marathon in May that if I qualified, in all likelihood I would not run Boston. But honestly that thought wasn't even on my mind that day. All I knew was that I wanted to run to my full potential. I was out there to prove to myself that the work put in could equal a triumphant result. That was my race goal: to finish feeling triumphant. It wasn't to qualify for Boston. Even though that had been the goal of every.single.marathon I'd run since 2003.

sugarloaf marathon photo — I have never felt more triumphant that in this moment: Mile 25.5 of the Sugarloaf Marathon on May 18th, 2014.

Something changed. I let go of Boston.

Going into the race I knew that if our desire to have a third child went as planned then I'd be pregnant in April 2015. How pregnant I didn't know. I didn't know if I'd be pregnant in September when registration opened? And if I wasn't would I register and run Boston pregnant? Or would I even be pregnant in April? What if there were complications with this plan for a third? It was too much to try and figure out and answer prior to the race. So I told myself I wouldn't consider the answer to these questions until the race was over. But considering them changed the way I looked at that marathon and the Boston Marathon.

It took Boston out of the equation. Which is the best thing that could have possibly happened. Sometimes when we hold tightly to a goal--a big dream--every step, every waking and sometimes sleeping moment becomes about that goal. We get so fixated and attached that the goal becomes more than just a goal, it takes on a life of it's own and can often cripple our efforts. Holding tightly to a goal creates pressure and athletes of all levels do not preform well under pressure. In "Mind Gym," a book on sports psychology and performance, Gary Mack says "Perform in the present. There is no pressure in the present." I've found that to be so completely true, whether I'm running or parenting: when I am focused on the present moment stress melts away.

Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do in pursuit of a goal is to let go of it. To focus on our effort and our ability in the moment. Maybe you dream of qualifying for Boston, or perhaps your goal is a position at work or to see your child receive a college degree. Whatever you goals don't abandon them, but consider loosening your grip. Letting go can help you gain valuable perspective, break some of that pressure an ultimately put you in a place to make that goal a reality.

I won't be running Boston. I could, but running Boston 19 days before my due date does not sound like the kind of Boston experience I've been working towards. So I'll have to re-qualify. But for me, running marathons isn't about qualifying for Boston anymore, it's about performing in the present to the best of my ability...it's about letting go and seeing what happens.

Have you ever had a dream you let go of and then achieved with relative ease later on? Do you dream of running Boston? What do you think of the idea of performing in the present?

--Sarah

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