Tuesday's run was the first run since my marathon on Friday night. It felt smooth, relaxed and strong. There was no soreness or tweakiness to my joints and muscles. I felt good. I pushed the pace at the end of the run, letting the pace dip into the 7's. I feel like I almost needed that, to see that I'm still capable. To say that I'm not disappointed with my finish time on Friday would be a lie. I know. I said my goal was to "run for fun." Perhaps I was lying to myself from the beginning, saying I wanted to run for "fun" while secretly attaching expectations of a finish time that would require more focus than a fun-run; all the while trying to deny those expectations and stay committed to "not caring"-- to just doing it for fun. But the truth is that I care. I care a whole lot. Which is why approaching a race casually isn't really something I can do, at least not in the place that I am right now.

So what were those "secret" expectations I tried to deny? To finish in the 3:30's, set a five or ten minute PR and walk away feeling a boost of confidence going into my next training cycle for the CHaD Half Marathon. It was a mistake to think that I could brush aside those expectations and go into the race "not caring" about the outcome.

But along with this realization is an unsettled feeling that maybe the marathon is just not for me? Maybe my expectations are not justified? Maybe I'm not as fast as I think I am? Maybe 3:49 is really the fastest I can run that distance? Maybe if I had tried to run faster in the middle I would have hit the wall? I wonder if I just never put my body in the right gear? Like when I run tempo, those first few minutes of tempo pace feel so tough. But once I'm there, after a half mile or so, I settle into a groove and I just churn through the miles. I wonder if that's what needs to happen in the marathon, that I need to "go there" to get to "race pace" and hold it. Trust that the training has prepared me and that I'm capable of going that "fast" for 26.2 miles. It is all just speculation. Questions I can't answer unless I run another marathon, which is why I feel like I have unfinished business with the distance.

Despite the mix of disappointment and doubt there were some high points and I DID have fun.

Race/Course Details: The Ultra Around the Lake is three events in one: a 24 hour ultra, a 12 hour ultra and a marathon. The race was scheduled for July 26th with a start time of 7pm. The marathon course involves eight, 3.17 mile laps around Lake Quannapowitt in Wakefield, MA. The course was flat with only a slight dip and rise down into and out of the parking lot where the timing pad tracked our laps. Each lap passed through the parking lot, where we were funneled under a tent with a tracking pad. The race volunteers called out our numbers as we passed through. You kind of had to track your own laps, if you stopped a lap short I don't think they would have told you. There water stops just past the start/finish and another just before the two mile marker on the other side of the lake. I took water at the finish line consistently throughout the race and took water several times at the second stop each lap after lap five. It one of the flattest marathon I've run besides the Rock n Roll Arizona marathon. The course was comprised of roads, a small stretch of grass, paved sidewalk and concrete sidewalk (by the fourth lap the concrete was not feeling so good on the knees and I moved to the grassy path next to it). For the most part the course was well lit and I had no need of a headlamp. I brought it but opted not to wear it, I was glad I made that choice. There was one point where I nearly tripped, I was making my way from the concrete to the grass besides it to give my knees a break and nearly took a digger on a rock in the path. But I didn't fall or twist anything. I thought running eight laps might get monotonous but I kind of liked it, it felt like a track workout in some ways where you count laps instead of miles. Had it been a day- time race I don't think I would have enjoyed it--I guess I like to feel like I'm going somewhere. But because it was dark, there was a sense of security knowing each lap was the same. It never seemed monotonous.

The race itself was well organized, well staffed. It was a low key, small race: just people running, no hoopla or bands or costumes--which I like. Because there were three events there were constantly people lapping you and people you were lapping. The ones lapping me were the super fast marathon men and I was lapping some of the ultra runners who still had to run late into the night or all through the next day (crazy!).

Weather: It is risky running a marathon in July. The Friday before the race we had the highest temperatures we've had so far this summer: 96 degrees. But on race day the temps were in the 60's. It rained a bit in the morning, cleared up and cooled off in the afternoon and then began to rain again at the start of the race. A downpour that tapered off to light rain for the first lap and then stopped completely by the second lap. As the race progressed the air continued to cool, it was quite comfortable. I don't think we could have had better weather, it was really nice.

Nutrition/Hydration: I don't think I've ever gotten my nutrition and hydration so RIGHT as I did with this race. I felt really good the whole race (until nausea at mile 24). This was one of the highlights of the race experience was feeling well fueled and hydrated. If you think about it a night time is the perfect time to race: you spend the whole day fueling and hydrating and are running on a full tank. An early morning marathon means that you're coming off of at least 8 to 10 hours of fasting. Here's what I ate on race day:

Breakfast: Egg, Ezekiel bread toast, peanut butter, nectarine

Snack: Larabar, a few pretzels throughout the morning

Lunch: Two egg sandwich on Ezekiel bread with avocado, coconut oil, chia seeds, lettuce and tomato.

Snack: Larabar, more pretzels

Pre-Rac(two hours before): Large bagel with peanut butter and coffee

Hydration: about 40-50 oz water throughout the day and 30-40oz of Nuun throughout the day

All week long I actually focused on increasing my carbohydrate intake mostly in the form of fruits, Ezekiel bread, Larabars and whole wheat pretzels. I snacked a little extra Monday-Thursday. I also cut back on dairy and stayed away from a leafy greens on Thursday night.

Nutrition/Hydration during the race: I took two GU's one after mile 7ish which I slowly ate from mile 7-10 and one around mile 15, which I ate slowly from mile 15-18. I took water at the finish line area (every three miles) consistently for the first four laps and then started taking water both at the finish line and then at the second water stop for the last three laps. The GU's settled nicely in my stomach, but I just couldn't force more than two down. Perhaps I should have taken another GU and maybe I would have avoided the nausea at the end.

Race Day/Evening: My plan was to drive down in the afternoon (a 90 minute drive) to my brother and sister-in-law's place. My sister-in-law and I would hang out for a bit, relax and then head to the race. I spent most of the morning focusing on staying off my feet, hydrating and eating. I did small chores around the house, sat on the couch and read books with my daughter and played with my son. I had zero race nerves. I felt relaxed and excited.

I packed my bag on Thursday. I ended up wearing my UnderArmour shorts, a Lululemon cool racer back tank, a C-9 for Target bra, Feetures socks, my Athleta visor and my Saucony Fastwitch shoes. Plus lots of body glide. Proved to be a great outfit, no … — I packed my bag on Thursday. I ended up wearing my UnderArmour shorts, a Lululemon cool racer back tank, a C-9 for Target bra, Feetures socks, my Athleta visor and my Saucony Fastwitch shoes. Plus lots of body glide. Proved to be a great outfit, no chaffing. I also wore my Nathan zipper pouch where I put my four GU's.

We headed to the race at 4:30pm and packet pick up was a breeze. I'm not sure the exact number or runners but it had to be around 200 combined for all three events. It was a small race with a unique vibe, a mix of ultra runners and marathoners and it seemed like a tight knit community of runners: people who come back year after year to run the race. And because it was an ultra there were support teams camped out, tail-gaiting next to cars stocked with supplies.

Once we had our packets, Danielle and I found a spot on a park bench outside and ate our pre-race meal. We stretch, chatted and laughed as we tried to remember how to attach those old D-tabs to our shoes. We moved inside so I could find a spot to pump, I ended up pumping in the corner of the conference room where the packet pick up was. Not exactly discrete; I was thankful I'd grabbed my towel at the last minute. The car was parked just outside the hotel and it was easy to drop our bags in the trunk before heading across the parking lot to the start line. While we were inside it started to rain, pour actually. About ten minutes before the race everyone started moving towards the start line in the rain. We followed the crowd. The only thing denoting the start line: a race director with a megaphone. It was very low key.

The Race: I accidentally pressed the "lap" button twice during the run, mistaking it for the light on my watch so some of the splits are wacky.

Lap 1: 8:35, 8:50, 8:58, 8:39 The race started with a very unassuming siren noise from the megaphone. We took a short run up into a parking lot and turned around a cone before coming back through the start area to start our first lap. Danielle and I started off easy and the first lap went by quickly. At this point it was still raining a bit but looked as if it would clear. We took water as we came back through the finish area.

Lap 2: 8:40, 8:42, 8:38 Still focusing on an easy pace we breezed through the next three miles, chatting the whole time about motherhood and life. These conversations were the highlight of the marathon. I took water again as we finished the lap. This would be the pattern until about lap 6 when I started taking water at the finish area and the second water stop halfway around the lake.

Lap 3: 8:45, 8:52, 8:43 The sun began to set, the rain stopped and the most amazing rainbow came out just as we were finishing the third mile of this lap. We looked back over our shoulders and it took my breath away. It was beautiful. The colors of the rainbow were clear and crisp and it stretched from horizon to horizon, forming a perfect arch over the lake. And in the west, a blazing red sun peaked out from behind the breaking rain clouds. I've never wanted to badly to stop and take a picture, but I didn't have my phone. I'm still trying to get a hold of a picture, I don't think there are race photos but maybe someone out there has one.I took a GU after this lap and nursed it a little at a time for all of lap 4.

Lap 4: 9:01, 8:46, 9:00 Dusk settled in and with it huge columns of gnats. Yucky, clouds of white bugs that were unavoidable. They hovered above the pavement right at head-level and I must have choked down a couple dozen. It was gross. I ran most of this lap with my head down holding my breath. It was the one downfall of the night run. Danielle and I couldn't talk during that lap, if you tried you got a mouthful of bugs. This was the only drawback to the race and I'd been warned about them, but seriously thought they couldn't be THAT bad. They were awful for those three miles.

Lap 5: 6:34 (.77), 8:49, 8:49 Thankful that the bugs were gone this lap felt better. And it was during this lap that Danielle and I talked about splitting up. We had run together for the first half and even though we had said we would run the whole thing together it was clear we were weren't feeling the same. Danielle is an incredibly gracious person and it's one of the reasons I love her and am proud to call her my sister and friend. She urged me to go. I think leaving someone in a race is hard. I felt torn between finishing together and wanting to run what my legs and body felt like they were telling me I could run. We have run several races together, and one of our most successful races was running Eastern States 20miler back in 2011. On that day we were perfectly synched. We started strong and when one of us felt tired the other felt strong and we pushed each other to a 2:48 (8:24pace) finish that day. I guess I'm realizing how rare and special it is to have a race day like that. It is one thing to run training runs together, but to show up on race day and run the same pace for 20 miles and execute so well, together: it's rare. That will go down as one of my favorite races ever. That was a good day and we were hoping for the same on Friday, but it just didn't happen. Towards the end of this lap I broke away and went on to run the rest of the race by myself.

Lap 6: 8:26, 8:40, 8:54 I felt strong for the first half of this lap and pushed the pace down a bit. I kept saying to myself, "This one and two more." By this time it was completely dark and there were spots along the course where I couldn't see my footing or an oncoming car would blind me for a moment making it difficult to see the dips in the side walk. For much of the later part of the race I ran with my head down, looking where I was stepping. I started to take my second and final GU during this lap and I held it an ate is slowly for most of this lap and all of lap 7.

Lap 7: 8:34, 8:34, 8:50 I started this lap again feeling strong and carried that through until the last mile of the lap. As I came back through the finish line area I had this irrational hope that someone would say that I had miscounted and that I was actually DONE! It didn't happen. And I knew it wouldn't, my Garmin told me I still had three miles to go.

Lap 8: 8:46, 2:55 (.33), 8:53, 8:13, 1:20 (.17) As I started the last lap I felt a mix of motivation and exhaustion. By this time it was nearly an hour past my normal bedtime and despite a good nights sleep the night before I felt tired. Not muscle tired, crawl-in-your-bed-cause-it's-the-end-of-the-day tired. I mean yes, my muscles were tired too, but the fatigue was mostly coming from my body wanting sleep. And right at mile 24 I got slammed with nausea. I slowed way down, almost walked but pushed myself forward with the thought that I could still match my marathon PR if I pushed a little harder. The nausea subsided and I was able to push the last mile into the finish. I ran the fastest last mile of a marathon EVER: 8:13 min/mi. That was a high point for me, finishing strong. It was one of my goals. To finish faster than I started and for the last mile I did that. I didn't match my PR, but I was happy to see the cones leading into the parking lot and gave a final sprint to the finish. As soon as I stopped running the nausea came back and after the put the medal around my neck I laid down on the pavement. They moved me to the med tent, forced some pretzels into my hand which I tried to eat but they tasted like cardboard. After a few minutes I was up and walking to the car.

Official Finish Time: 26.22 miles in 3:49:40, Garmin Time: 26.22 miles in 3:49:03

We arrived back at the house at around 11:30pm. I was exhausted I probably should have eaten something more but all I could manage was a few bites of a bagel and some sips of Nuun.

I made it to the shower, but standing there the nausea came raging back. I couldn't even stand long enough to put conditioner in my hair (which is kind of a big deal because my hair goes down to my waist, is super fine and thin and if I don't condition and immediately comb it out it turns into a rats nest. I did neither). I Just put on a sweatshirt and pants and literally crawled onto the air mattress which was conveniently on floor-level. I fell asleep without stretching or putting on my compression tights as I'd intended to do. Thankfully I wasn't too stiff in the morning and had a chance to do some dynamic stretches and a few yoga poses before I got back in my car and drove 90 min home, but not before devouring two enormous bagels and two huge cups of coffee! A bagel never tasted so delicious!

I walked away from the race feeling "meh." I don't like feeling "meh." Recently, when I ran that 5K back in June I felt electric. Not "meh," electric! I knew I'd laid it all out there. I ran with all my might. If anything the marathon taught me that, laying it all out there, running with all my might THAT for me is fun. And I can't pretend that my finish time isn't important to me, it is. In future races I plan to be more honest, to run with all my might, to lay it all out there and see what happens.

But for now I'm moving on. It's not the confidence boost I was hoping for, but it was a learning experience and I'm now a seven-time marathoner. I'm going to focus on that fast last mile, the rainbow and the races I have ahead of me...like Hood to Coast (!!!!!!) which is in just a few short weeks.

Have you ever run a night race? How do you pace yourself during a marathon? Do you start slow and then move into race pace? Or run race pace from the start? What makes a race FUN for you?

--Sarah

Want more from RunFarGirl? You can find me here:

Twitter:@Run_Far_Girl

Instagram: instagram.com/runfargirl

Facebook:Facebook.com/runfargirl262

Pinterest: pinterest.com/runfargirl

Daily Mile:dailymile.com/people/scanney

Around the Lake Marathon Recap

POWERED BY SQUARESPACE