There's a lot going on right now. My mind can't quite settle on one thing to focus on as a result this post may be completely random and a bit disjointed. But that is where I am. Jack.

Jack is doing well. He is a champion in every way. Barely three months old and he's doing things that I've never done. He is a brave, brave boy. On Tuesday he had his MRI to determine if he has melanin in his brain (we still don't have the results yet, hoping to get a call today). The whole process was difficult, but we were put at ease by the amazing nurses and physicians at the Children's Hospital at Dartmouth. As great as they were, it didn't make the emotional part of it less emotional. It is hard to hold your child while he struggles against the mask pressed to his face and even harder to watch him go limp and still harder to have to walk out the room and leave him. Hard.

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Today he is every bit himself: rolling around, grabbing at toys, giggling when I kiss him under his chin. So today I was every bit myself: cleaning, running, laundry with a little painting and playing thrown in on the side. A big thank you to everyone who expressed care and concern for him. I felt every bit of your love and support on Tuesday:) [You can read more about Jack's story HERE.]

Running.

I had some great runs last week. I am starting to feel as if the runner I was a year ago, before becoming pregnant, is there ready to burst on to the scene. I had a great speed session on Friday and an amazing nine miles on Sunday with my sister, Danielle. A hilly course on which we averaged 8:49 min/mile pace. Check out the elevation (in green):

My total mileage for last week was 21 miles, which is the longest I've done in a while. Most of my runs I logged early in the morning. I'm finding that nap time is not an ideal time to run: some days Sophia and Jack's nap coincides, others not so much. It is best to run early and be done, leaving nap time for relaxing for chores.

I've also signed up for my first race. On February 10th I'll be running Millennium Running Company's Snowflake Shuffle in Bedford, NH. I am going to use this race to gauge my current fitness level. I'm setting a conservative goal of running something in the 23:xx. I know that it is totally doable and if I go faster, then great. Once I run this race I'll be able to plug my times into the McMillan Pace calculator and really figure out what my training paces should be.

Running is a nice distraction from everything that is going on with Jack. It makes me feel normal. And plus long runs with my sister, Danielle where we just talk and talk are exactly what my soul needs.

Me.

Honestly, I am exhausted. Stressed. Trying to hold it together. It's coming out in all the wrong ways: lack of patience, generally angry and irritable about the littlest things. Mark and I are going away this weekend to a Bed and Breakfast in Maine. Just the two of us. We need it. I need it. I'm looking forward to a bit of rest before these next few months of surgeries and appointments dominate our lives. Grandma and Grandpa are coming to the rescue.

So that is where I am...a little all over the place.

--Sarah

Where I Am

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