Swallowed Up

Last night, while my husband and I talked on the couch after putting our daughter to bed (Oh that precious quiet after bed time!), I told him that I felt "swallowed up." In the past nearly three weeks since Jack's birth, I've had little time to take care of myself. My days are filled with nursing, changing diapers, mopping up pee off the floor (my daughter seems to have reverted back to her pre-potty trained self), changing pee -oaked clothes, folding laundry and trying to comb pieces of food out of my daughter's hair because we haven't had time for a bath. Sigh. For many new mom's self-care takes a back seat when there's a newborn around. I was reminded this morning at my Mom and Tots group that it's not just a new mom issue, most mom's struggle to find time to take care of themselves. The way that I take care of myself is running and because I'm not running right now I'm not really taking care of myself in the way that I normally would, which is why I feel "swallowed up" by all the responsibilities that demand my attention. When I really think about it though, the cause of this feeling is really based in my expectations and feeling as if I've fallen short of them. Perhaps my expectations for myself as a wife, a mom and a runner are too high for this season of life? I had grand plans for what life would be like after Jack arrived, but things seem to be moving much more slowly. For now, I need to accept that. I need to let the dishes sit in the sink and take care of myself instead.

But even with more reasonable expectations I'm still wondering when I will find time to run. With winter fast approaching, double stroller running will have to wait till spring. Which leaves me with the early morning. But my sleep deprived self wonders if that will ever happen? My very loving and accomodating husband listened to my rant last night and asked: "What can I do to help you find time to run?" I love this man. He's amazing. We brainstormed ideas together, he even offered to buy me a treadmill so that I could run during nap time. I'm not sure where the money for the treadmill will come from, but his willingness to help melted my heart.

I know things will get better--just like after Sophia was born we adjusted. But at this point I'm struggling a little. I've heard mothers of multiple children say that the transition from one to two children is the hardest and every child after that isn't that big a deal. I'm feeling the weight of the first part of that statement and thinking that I'm not sure I want to try and see if the later part is true.

How do you take care of yourself? How do you cope with those moments in parenthood where you feel overwhelmed?

--Sarah