Rather unintentionally, my husband and I seem to be raising a very healthy little girl: a girl who would rather pretend to "play cooking" than watch Dora. A girl who puts on my hydration belt and running hat and announces she's going to "do a marathon." A girl who looks forward to going to races so she can ring her cowbells. Don't get me wrong, our desire is for her to be healthy we just haven't explicitly set out to "raise a healthy child." It seems to have happened on its own; which honestly is probably the best way it could happen. Sometimes when you set out to "raise" your kids in a certain way the plan can back-fire: too much ridgidity, too much focus on the desired outcome means no space for the journey, the relationship or the child. I don't think our daughter's healthy outlook and habits are by accident. Quite the opposite actually, I believe they are direct result of my and my husband's intentionality about our own health: physical, mental, relational and spiritual. We really aren't exceptional people by any means and we certianly don't have life all figured out (parenting included). But we must be doing something right if our little girl is demonstrating an affinity for healhty living. Here's a snapshot of how we're trying to encoporate healthy living into our family identity:

A Family Affair:

For our little family of three (soon to be four) exercise is something we do together. My husband, Mark has always come to all my races to cheer and support me, no matter what the distance 5K to Marathon. When Sophia was born, she joined the team and started coming to my races as well. Her first race was my first race post-pardum: a four miler three months after her birth. She's come to all my races since then with the exception of a few due to sub-freezing temps, or the marathon we turned into a "romantic weekend away." We've also spectated the races of family members: my sister-in-laws first marathon, my Dad's first triathalon. We make shirts, carry signs, shake cowbells and make a lot of noise. It's an event...a family event.

Our BOB stroller and Kelty Kids Backpack have been invaluable tools in bringing Sophia along on our exercise adventures. She's been riding in them for runs and hikes for so long that she asks for them by name. "Please go for a run in the BOB stroller?" She even wants to name her brother "Bob" (mmmm...I think not.) She is also accostumed to watching us workout, whether I'm doing a workout video or yoga in the living room or my husband is down in our basement home-gym, she is there. Now that she is a little older, she doesn't have to be confined to the pack n'play and often mimics our own workouts, performing plank holds, jumping rope even asking to do pull ups. We have boundaries and rules for her safety (sidewalk chalk does wonders sometimes), but she's always there with us.

Making our activites (my running and my husband's weight lifitng) open for our family to join is not the most convenient and it definintely takes patience and a willingness to put your plan on hold if necessary. There have been many times where I've had to stop mid-run or mid-pull up to pick up dropped sippy cup or redirect her focus to earn myself a few more minutes. It's a commitment too: taking a family to a 5K or 10K can become a whole-day endeavor, sometimes interfering with naps or meals. Early on we made the decision that Sophia would "come along" with us: that our life wasn't going to revolve around her but that we were going to create a new life together as a family.

Model Balanced Eating:

When I found out I was pregnant with a little girl, my immediate thought was that I don't want her to have to struggle with food the way I did. I wanted Sophia to be an intuative eater, not a restrictive, obsessive, disordered eater. I feel very strongly that intuative eating comes through a balanced approach to ALL foods. I ascribe to the addage that there is no such thing as a "BAD FOOD." Its all about the quantity and frequency of consumption. I hear stories from a friend of mine who teaches pre-school aged children about some of the restricitve "rules" parents have about their child's diet. NO sugar, no gluten, no trans fats, all organic, all natural, all the time. Allergies and intollerances aside, teaching your children that there are BAD foods they aren't allowed to eat does not help in teacing them how to eat intuatively. Restrictive diets always backfire, especially in young children. Adults who restrict their diet only have to fight with themselves, but parents who restrict a childs diet create a battle that is unnecessary. By no means am I a proponent of "anything goes," instead the focus should be on teaching intuative eating through balance. How do we do that? By allowing Sophia to try a little of everything: McDonalds Happy Meals, kale chips, Pop Tarts, organic free range eggs, Lucky Charms, steel cut oats, ice cream it's all within the realm of her diet. With the guideline that things like Happy Meals, Pop Tarts, Lucky Charms and ice cream (among other things) are TREATS eaten infrequently. On a daily basis we focus on variety: something different at every meal. Sophia is not a picky eater, I think it's because we weren't affraid to introduce different flavors to her at an early age: my husband once dipped his finger in his spicy Thai Coconut Curry and gave her a taste...she was maybe five months old (even I cringed when he did that), but now she asks for pepper on her eggs in the morning.

At two and a half, she is hardly capable of making good decisions about quantity and frequency with regard to food, so we do that for her right now. But our hope is that down the road she will have the confidence and freedom to eat intuatively: to choose from ALL foods in balanced way, to eat when she is hungry and stop when she is full.

Create "Me Time":

We all do it for ourselves: create space and time away from everyone and everything to unwind. Our kids need that too. Not nap time, quiet time. I started doing this with Sophia when she was old enough to sit up and play with toys on her own. It started mostly because I needed a break, a chance to jump in the shower or get dressed and put on make-up uninterrupted. I'd set her up in the crib or pack n' play with a few toys and give her quiet time by herself for 15-30 minutes, there was no expectation that she sleep, it was a separate time from nap time. The expectation was that she play independently. Now that she's older we call it time "quiet time" or "book time." We do it on her bed or in a corner of our living room. I make a "pillow nest" with throw pillows and blankets (I have a weird obsession with throw pillows so we have an inordinate amount of them in our home), set her up with a stack of books and set the timer (I currently use the kitchen timer but would like to get a visual timer so she can see the time passing). Often she needs reminders, but for the most part she sits their contentedly. Sitting quietly is a learned skill that requires patience on the parents part. Even if your child is older you can still implement the idea, but it may take time for them to adjust to the idea of being with themselves without the distractions of TV or other people.

Limit Use of Technology:

This is probably the area where I struggle the most. We have a TV, computer, iPad and iPhones. We are plugged in. These tools can be so useful: for my husbands business, for my blogging, for staying in touch with family abroad, for carving out much needed "me time" (I'm saving season two of Downton Abbey for after the baby is born, when I'm sitting on the couch not feeling like going anywhere...oooh I can't wait!). THese tools can also be a huge distraction from spending time with each other and based on my own observations, can inhibit a toddlers ability to "pretend play" and entertain themselves.

So we try to limit our consumption, the biggest way is by not having cable. In Mark and my eight years of marriage we've had cable once: last month. I ordered it for the Olympics and for two weeks we watch all the coverage all the time: from the Today show interviews until my eyes couldn't stay open anymore at 11:30pm. I LOVE the Olympics and can remember being inspired by them as a kid, it seems Sophia was as well. But I was honestly relieved when last week we called to cancel our service, I'm back to my normal bedtime and am no longer being inundated with depressing bad news. By no means are we anti-TV, we have access to different TV shows through Netflix, but like McDonalds Happy Meals and ice cream its an occasional 'treat.'

As for other technology, specifically social media and blogging, I try to limit my activity on those to early mornings when everyone's still in bed (like now) or nap times. Even with these guidelines, there are times when I just don't feel like getting down on the ground and playing "house"...again, so we'll watch Curious George instead.

Just like every other parent out there we're discovering what works as we go and what we're finding is that the more intentional we are about our family as a whole unit (rather than "our kids") the better off our daughter is. Her primary mode of learning seems to be observing and repeating, she is such a little sponge for both the good and the bad. It seems that our job as parents is to make sure what she is seeing is the best we have to offer as people: as husband, wife, father, mother, brother, sister, runner, weightlifter, blogger, plumber and ultimately as FAMILY.

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If you're a parent, what advice would you offer? Are there things your parents did that gave you an affinity for healthy living?

--Sarah

How Not to "Raise" Healthy Kids

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