The Paradox of Enough and More

Sometimes the most gracious thing we can do for ourselves is to say “that’s enough” and sometimes it is to say “there’s more.”

I felt as if I was trying to find my way through this truth this week in so many ways. There are times when we are trying very hard, we’re giving it our best shot, we're persisting and nothing seems to be working. Not a budge, not an eek, not an iota of movement. And in those moments, when we are very tired and weary, the kindest, most gracious thing--a true act of self-care--is to say to ourselves, “That’s enough. Rest now.”

And then there are times when we think we are giving it our all when it feels incredibly effortful, and we are in fact tired and it seems as if to keep going is impossible. And yet, we may not have reached the edge of ourselves, we may have only reached a perceived edge, one that is influenced by all the negative narratives of fear and self-doubt. And in those moments, when we are very tired and weary, the kindest, most gracious thing--a true act of self-care--is to say to ourselves, “There’s more. I believe it.”

The trick is, knowing yourself well enough to know how to tell the difference. And really, the only way to do that is to keep going to that perceived edge, and sometimes we will get it right and we’ll pull back and allow ourselves to rest or we’ll push through and achieve something that seemed impossible. And sometimes we’ll get to that edge and we’ll get it wrong, we’ll pull back before we should and never reach that thing we thought we had a shot at or we’ll push through when really our bodies and our minds and our souls needed rest. 

My experience: it starts off 50/50 and as you get to know yourself more you get better at discerning this funny little paradox and you find yourself on the edge of right where you need to be. 

-Sarah