How to Strengthen Your Fragile Confidence
There are days when I feel confident and days when I want to crawl in a hole. On those days when I feel like an imposter, start doubting everything I have ever done or am planning to do and generally want to dig a hole and crawl into it, I let myself feel all those feels. It’s only natural that when you’re pushing beyond your comfort zone into uncharted territory that your confidence will feel fragile and the fear of failure is ever-present. In fact, those are par for the course. It’s not sign that you are doing things wrong, or you’ve picked the wrong idea to pursue--it actually probably means you’re on track. Which is why accepting those feelings and allowing yourself to feel them is important.
Once I’ve acknowledged my feelings of doubt and fear and I’m ready to pick myself up by my bootstraps, I try to do three things that I think are essential for restoring my confidence.
Confidence isn’t something you are born with or without, it is something that can be cultivated with habit and practice. It’s like a muscle that atrophies when not used and grows when attention and energy are directed towards it. If you want to be confident you have to work at it.
And the way I work at it--the way I direct attention and energy towards it is by writing things down. I start by giving myself space to think and reflect, go for a walk, get some fresh air and hit reset on your current circumstances, then grab a pen and paper because it’s time to work at that confidence.
Make a List of your Strengths
Start by making a list of your strengths and talents, things that make you uniquely you. They can be big things or small things. Whatever it is you’re good at, write it down. And write it as positive “I am” statements, for example: I am a great host. I am a good runner. I am creative. Return to this list, add to it, make it a daily habit and you’ll start to see your internal narrative shifting.
Recall Moments that You are Proud of
Next spend some time recalling a moment that you feel really proud of, a time when you felt like you were in the flow of exactly what you love to do. Perhaps it is a moment when your strength really shined, or you displayed your talent fully. Or maybe it was just a moment where you were brave enough to try something new, even if you weren’t proficient at it? Write these moments down and spend some time in gratitude for those experiences. Directing thankfulness towards those moments is a great way to shift your mindset from the things that feel discouraging to positive memories.
Ask for Help
Cultivating confidence is not a solitary act. While picking yourself up by your bootstraps is a good way to start, it’s not the only answer to regaining and strengthening your confidence. Confide in a friend or loved one as to how you are feeling, that your confidence feels shaken and you need a little help. Then ask that person to share their perception of a time when you displayed confidence. Many times, those around us have a clearer perspective and that can help you get out of your confidence slump.
You got this!
--Sarah
Boost your confidence daily with my sustainable morning routine!
Morning Routine to Confidence
30 days to a more confident you!